It’s crazy – I’ve learnt so much about life in the past few months and I started feeling like I don’t know how to live it. All preconceived thoughts don’t seem to make sense anymore.

I’m really thankful I found  this article - I though it was a really good reminder. Even though it is addressed to fresh graduates, everyone should take time to read it…
“No one escapes life without enduring tragedy, hardship, and ridicule.
… The most important barrier to overcome is the barrier of self.”

Also… in the midst of all these chaos, I’m moving on to another chapter in life.

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• “Experts” are clueless
• Customers cannot tell you what they need
• Biggest challenges beget the best work
• Design counts
• Use big graphics and big fonts
• Changing your mind is a sign of intelligence
• Value != Price
• A player hires A+ players
• Real entrepreneurs ship
• Marketing is all about finding unique value
• Some things need to be believed to be seen

We don’t require life-changing events to learn life’s biggest lessons from. Simple, daily interaction could provoke so much thoughts in us. There’s something to learn from everyone we meet… and who knows what inspiring stories they have, or what they have been through?

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Everyone in the apartment complex I lived in knew who Ugly was. Ugly was the resident tomcat.

Ugly loved three things in this world: fighting, eating garbage, and shall we say, love. The combination of these things combined with a life spent outside had their effect on Ugly.

To start with, he had only one eye, and where the other should have been was a gaping hole. He was also missing his ear on the same side, his left foot has appeared to have been badly broken at one time, and had healed at an unnatural angle, making him look like he was always turning the corner. His tail has long since been lost, leaving only the smallest stub, which he would constantly jerk and twitch. Ugly would have been a dark gray tabby striped-type, except for the sores covering his head, neck, even his shoulders with thick, yellowing scabs.

Every time someone saw Ugly there was the same reaction. “That’s one UGLY cat!!”

All the children were warned not to touch him, the adults threw rocks at him, hosed him down, squirted him when he tried to come in their homes, or shut his paws in the door when he would not leave.

Ugly always had the same reaction. If you turned the hose on him, he would stand there, getting soaked until you gave up and quit. If you threw things at him, he would curl his lanky body around feet in forgiveness. Whenever he spied children, he would come running meowing frantically and bump his head against their hands, begging for their love. If you ever picked him up he would immediately begin suckling on your shirt, earrings, whatever he could find.

One day Ugly shared his love with the neighbors huskies. They did not respond kindly, and Ugly was badly mauled. From my apartment I could hear his screams, and I tried to rush to his aid. By the time I got to where he was laying, it was apparent Ugly’s sad life was almost at an end.

Ugly lay in a wet circle, his back legs and lower back twisted grossly out of shape, a gaping tear in the white strip of fur that ran down his front. As I picked him up and tried to carry him home I could hear him wheezing and gasping, and could feel him struggling. I must be hurting him terribly I thought.

Then I felt a familiar tugging, sucking sensation on my ear – Ugly, in so much pain, suffering and obviously dying was trying to suckle my ear. I pulled him closer to me, and he bumped the palm of my hand with his head, then he turned his one golden eye towards me, and I could hear the distinct sound of purring. Even in the greatest pain, that ugly battled-scarred cat was asking only for a little affection, perhaps some compassion.

At that moment I thought Ugly was the most beautiful, loving creature I had ever seen. Never once did he try to bite or scratch me, or even try to get away from me, or struggle in any way. Ugly just looked up at me completely trusting in me to relieve his pain.

Ugly died in my arms before I could get inside, but I sat and held him for a long time afterwards, thinking about how one scarred, deformed little stray could so alter my opinion about what it means to have true pureness of spirit, to love so totally and truly. Ugly taught me more about giving and compassion than a thousand books, lectures, or talk show specials ever could, and for that I will always be thankful. He had been scarred on the outside, but I was scarred on the inside, and it was time for me to move on and learn to love truly and deeply. To give my total to those I cared for.

Many people want to be richer, more successful, well liked, beautiful, but for me, I will always try to be Ugly.

sauce: https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=10150673648893672&set=a.301435233671.147220.512993671&type=1&theater

]]> http://ameliachen.com/2012/03/story-of-ugly-cat/feed/ 0 http://ameliachen.com/2012/03/friends-from-memory/ http://ameliachen.com/2012/03/friends-from-memory/#comments Wed, 21 Mar 2012 03:18:45 +0000 Amelia Chen http://ameliachen.com/?p=1179

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1. The wife is thinner and better-looking than the husband.

It that obvious? Women care a big deal about being thin and good looking; whereas men mostly care about sex. Ideally, with women thinner and better-looking. (Instead of laborious dieting and exercising, we could just wait for them to get fat. Maybe bake a few pies! This is good information to have and really not that complicated)

2. The happier couple focused on the positive.

The more willing the husband is willing to do housework, the more attractive the wife will find him.

The more attractive she finds him, the more sex they have. The more sex they have, the nicer he is to her. The nicer he is to her, the less she nags about him leaving towels on the bed. And ultimately, they live happily after.

3. People who smile in childhood photographs are less likely to get a divorce. (actual study)

The researchers were not looking at documented self-reports of childhood happiness, or even studying old journals. It was based on studying whether people LOOKED happy in those pictures.

4. Do not win Best Actress award. It is the marriage kiss of death.
Merely watching a romantic comedy causes romantic satisfaction to plummet.

5. Drinking alcohol.

6. Divorce is contagious.
When you have a close couple splitting up, it increases your chances of getting divorce by 75%.

Benefits of Marriage:
Wealthier
Healthier physically and emotionally
Produce more happier, more stable and successful kids
Supposedly have more sex
Live longer

About how he was born in 1944, three years after the attack at Pearl Harbor. That him and his siblings had lost his father when he was age two, left to fend for themselves, surviving on tapioca leaves; which was the only thing they could afford then. He told us stories of how closely knitted they were, as they took care and relied on each other. His brother-in-law would retrieve fish from Changi and sell them, and the family would settle with the leftovers which were by then, unfresh. And that was how they grew up, briefly.

We were not convinced how the story was linked to the generous angpow, but he just insisted that we, especially family members, should help one another, not expecting anything in return. Being nice to others is a given; whether or not they reciprocate need not be considered. Even though we couldn’t help our uncle for his hospital bills, my dad said at least the extra cash could allow him a few comfortable rides home from the hospital. You don’t have to tell someone you respect them; it is felt in the heart.

When we got home, my mother showed my sisters and I my dad’s work bag; trying to prove to us how heavy it was. I took a close look, and realised it was already torn. The pull tab on the zipper was already broken, making it painful to slide the zipper’s chain. It was also partly heavy because of the many medicine pills that he carries around.

Just this afternoon, my sister was recommending me new bags that I should be getting, saying my current ones look old, making me look ungroomed. I was even made to set aside a budget for that new bag… even though I told them I would rather spend the money on other stuff. I didn’t really understand what was the deal with buying overly expensive bags from Chanel, and LV. Then I looked at how my dad could generously give away money to our relatives, yet refused to spend any cent on replacing his old, torn bag. Heartbroken, I got him a new bag the very same day. It isn’t branded, but at least it wasn’t torn.

He often reminded us that money was hard to come by. Thanks to him, I learn to be frugal. He’s 68 this year, and should have been retired by now, but he insisted on working a few more years so he could fund me for my studies (I was also working part-time). Even though we couldn’t have enough to allow me to study overseas, or even attend student exchange programmes, I am happy enough for whatever I have. I may not be a rich man’s daughter, but I’m thankful that my family is all safe and I’ve a place to call home. I feel blessed.

(Pictures from Rails Girls’ Facebook)

 Notice how I was the only non-Mac user there…

We had already been told from the start that we shouldn’t be expected to become programmers after attending this half-day workshop. If programming had been that simple, there’d be no lack of programmers already. Ultimately, the point of it was to give newbies like us a sense of how programming was like.

Thankfully, there were many tutors walking around to provide assistance and explanations. Personally, there was too much information to be absorbed but I’m glad I did not leave the event learning nothing. If anything, it got me more curious and inspired to pick up programming.

It was a female-dominated event (I’m sure you know by now…) and meeting many other awesome, like-minded girls definitely made it very fun. Joyce also recently started a community Geek Girls intended to bring female entrepreneurs together. I’m looking forward to attending the next event soon, and may we see more females in the local entrepreneurship scene!

P.S. I’ve also signed for CodeYear on Codecademy and have been obediently keeping up with the lessons so far. I may not be able to write my own codes yet, but I’m so happy that I am slowly making progress.

“The science of happiness:  If I know everything about your exeternal world, I can only predict 10% of your long-term happiness. 90% of your long-term happiness is by the way your brain processes the world.  Only 25% of are successes are  predicted by IQ – 75% are by optimism level, social support, ability to see stress as a challenge instead of threat.

The absence of disease is not health. We need to reverse the formula of happiness and success. The usual one is ‘If I work harder, I’ll be more successful. If I’m more successful, then I’ll be happier.’

First, everytime you reach a success, you just changed what the goal post look like.

The brain, when positive, performs better than when it does when it is negative, neutral or stressed. It’s referred to “happiness advantage”. Your intelligence rises, energy level rises, creativity rises, in fact every single business outcome improves.

• Better secure jobs
• Better keeping jobs
• Superior productivity
• More resilient
• Less burnout
• Less turnover
• Greater jobs

Train your brain:
-3 Gratitudes (3 new things for 21 days. Brain begins to write a pattern to see the world more positively)
-Journaling (About one positive experience you have had over the last 24 hrs teaches your brain to re-live these moments.)
-Exercise (Teaches your brain that behavior matters)
-Meditation (Detaches you from multi-tasking. Increases your focus on the task at hand)
-Random Acts of Kindness (1 positive email thanking somebody in your social support network)

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